1024 761 Jessica Paddock

No Room In The Womb.

Now this is a subject I feel strongly about. Should people who have life limiting illnesses have children?

Well we all want to live a normal life, but how normal can we make it without harming others?

I don’t want kids. That’s a decision I had to make at a very young age. With having a transplant the medications you take after could cause damage to the baby and could leave them deformed in someway. I am not saying it is impossible to have children after transplant as some women do they stop taking some medications so they can become pregnant but that can be a risky thing to do as your body could start to reject the lungs if you are not taking the medication.

Who am I to say how people should live there lives. In my opinion with having cystic fibrosis I would not have a child. You never know how fast you could deteriorate with this illness, I would hate the thought of leaving something I had created to fight on its own. Mentally I don’t think it is right.

But then who am I to judge I wanted a sister, so out popped summer. If I would of known I would of got this ill in the space of 2 years I would of never of asked for one.

I often think when I pass away. How she will act. Will she still be the same old happy child or would I of ripped all the joy out of her for simply not being there anymore. It’s heartbreaking for me to have thoughts like that in my head and as I am writing this tears are gently rolling down my cheeks but I can’t keep this bottled up people need to know how hard it can be waiting for an organ and how important it is to be on the organ register list how you could change not only the person but help save a family.

I hope I have not upset to many of you with my depressing thoughts please leave a comment below as to how you feel about this subject. Surely 1 of my
600 readers has something to say.

 

2 comments
  • Lisa Wild

    I could never begin to imagine how it feels to live your life Jess and to be as strong as you are but I will say that if the day comes that you are no longer with us you will have left an amazing (if slightly bonkers!!) legacy in your little sister. Reading your blog with tears streaming down my face….I had been pre warned! I am sure that if the time came when you were gone, she would be devastated but knowing how much you loved her would get her through and she would want to make you proud. It’s a personal choice on whether to have children and some people choose not to many reasons, you will have thought this through and come to a practical/logical decision that is right for you because that my lovely is who you are.
    Lisa xx

  • Ashleigh

    Jess,

    Someone very special to me told me that she would rather every precious second with me, no matter how few, than none at all. Your sister will feel the same. She will feel proud to have known you and to have stood by you.

    With regards to children, I’m in your position, having started the transplant process and basically being told that bearing a child is no longer an option for me. It was weird for me to be as upset as I was (and still am, now here come MY tears), crying for days, when I’ve never been one much for kids before. I guess I always thought that one day I would want them and that I could have them. I always thought that I’d meet someone with whom I’d want to make a little bit of us that lives on when we’re gone, and then I felt like I couldn’t do that. Thankfully, having looked into it, IVF and surrogacy are options that I may well explore when I am older, certainly when I become one of the 50% who live more than 5 years post transplant (oh yes, I am an optimist).

    I don’t think it’s selfish to do the most generous thing and give someone life. People have children every day and don’t wonder whether it’s wise to do so given that they could be hit by a bus in two years time. Also, a cure could come while you’re in your 40s (just look at how far we’ve come in so little time thus far!!!) and you’d be left thinking about the child you could be watching growing up.

    You would never leave your child alone in this world, for those who care for you will care for your child. Surely you have experienced grief yourself; it is but fleeting and nothing compared to the great memories of you that you’d leave your child with, nor the fantastic person that you’d be giving to the world.

    It is, of course, your choice whether to have children or not, and a variety of people choose not to for a variety of reasons. I’d just hate for motherhood to be yet another thing that CF prevented you from doing, and I hope that you can see the other side and perhaps reconsider in time.

    Ashleigh

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